Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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