How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
