I love having hate sex.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
