I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
it's like iHOP with fire
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize