Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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