A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
