Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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