Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
