i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize