shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize