He uses pillows to masturbate.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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