No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
