On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
