It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
