Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
