What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
