i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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