You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
