I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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