the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
