soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize