listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
