ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
