I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
