she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize