We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
