matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
