Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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