We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
