even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
