I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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