i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
