We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
