Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
