2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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