Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
