It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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