I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize