May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
