If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
