I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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