Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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