When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
