32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize