Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
