If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Randomize
