lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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