Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
