I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
