who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
