Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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