i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
