i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
