My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
