so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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