im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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