god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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