she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
