drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize