what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
There's always time for handjobs
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
