have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
