i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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