Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
