o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize