Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
